SETTLEMENT- a convoluted and byzantine web!

The words of regret of a women born in 60s into a conservative family.

I was 4 when I saw, a man drive on the roadway in a big car, I screamed in glee and said, I wish I had one.’My father returned a nasty look and said “Study well, grow, settle and buy one”.

I treated “Settle “ to be a sacred word and highly regarded it.

I turned 12, I saw my teacher come drenched in perfume, wear Eiffel touching stilettos and ears pierced  and wished I would be one so one day, when she said” Study well , grow, settle and groom yourself as you wish”.

I wondered what means to settle

I turned 15 and wished to learn to play violin , I was snubbed “First settle down and then do what you wish to”.

I turned 18 and wished to have a boyfriend like all others of my age,my grandad admonished and curtailed my wish saying “ Fetch one after you Settle”

I hated the word settle

I was now wedded and on a tour with my husband I saw a solitary soul cry, I told my hubby that I wished to lend  my shoulder to her to lean on, he said rather firmly”Baby, let our wedded life settle and then you may lend anything”

I now had a child, and saw a man starve in hunger, shiver in cold thunders , I ventured to give the warmth.On my return I was rebuked of not being a good mother for having wasted time that was meant for helping my child settle.

My child grew 8 years and had learnt a new word in English “ACHIEVEMENT” and asked me “Momma what did you achieve in your life?”

I was jolted by the question and remained paralyzed .My thoughts rolled back as the tears rolled down my eyes . I had spent 46 years of my life just gathering guilt, guilt of not being able to do anything, resentment of my lack of resistance to them.

I resent for having surrendered to the obnoxious word called “SETTLE”

I loathe myself for my inability to live  my wishes and punish myself for bottling up them.

The next day morning kiddo asked me the same question “Mom, you didn’t answer me, what have you achieved in your life”

I answered, “Son, my achievement in my life was a learning, which  I’m going to share with you now.

Son, we are not really sure how long our life would be, to be precise, we have a short life.In this short life , we will come across a a web called “SETTLEMENT”.I learnt that settlement is not “the act of making stable or putting on a permanent basis” according to your father or my father’s dictionary.But it much bigger than that.I learnt that it’s a process, a never  ending one and that wisdom  lies in accommodating tiny wishes during this process of stabilizing.I understood that I have been compromising with the little of my dreams , held up in this intricate web I also learnt not to surrender to the word of settlement and live life as it comes.”  I wish you don’t spend your years in settling and then realize that all these years you have just been  settling little noticing that there you have lived it mechanically.,Son life is an alloy of experiences, experiences sprouting from determination, happiness, sorrows, romance, hunger, fancies, wishes, whims and lots more.Live it moment by moment”

I dream of a day...

Note:The below words are based on the conversation i had with a rag picker-ruqsaar, aged 7 and here she speaks her heart through my words.

I dream of a day,

When all the children will hold pens in their hands instead of fidgeting sticks.

Where all the children will look for letters and words and numbers instead of plastic, ploythene and glass.

Where all the children will be in their divine classrooms and not in the filthy trash bins.

Where all the rag pickers will will wear a satchel with books and not a sack of trash flung on their shoulder

Where no child's hands are engaged in dish washing , but in holding an abacus and a globe.

Where no child will ever lie on the pavement and dream about being in school.

 I dream of a day,

Where all the people will be lettered,

Where a child spells his name as kalam and not as kalim,

When all the people will sign with a pen and the stamp pads seem redundant

Where the president’s son and a scavenger's son sit on the same bench and learn the lessons  of life.

Where education becomes a breathing right of every child born!

When  we all  be the preachers and the teachers to the world.

I have a dream that each of my fellow brothers and sisters will transform this dream of an educated India, real.

Oh Lord of Rains...

Oh lord of rains!
Here is the chronicle of our complaints.
At distance, i see a horizon
on the lands, parched by the hot scorching sun.


I see the rivers and the ponds dry,
and found people in hunger, cry.


Deep in their throats, thirst i found,
Sad and sullen is how they sound.


Seasons passed by, there were no crops,
for the planet was and there were no rain drops.


Pots empty, withering trees,
lives were everything but at ease.

The globe turned impoverished and torrid,
with no food, no water, no hope, no life, the thought was so horrid.


I learnt that earth and sky can never ever meet,
this was the humblest way of nature's deceit.


Sans food, sans water, sans life, sans hope,
darkness invading,life was on a drooping slope.


Tightly shut my eyes under the sky in desperation,
the result of pain,hnger, thirst, laceration.

I felt on my forehead, a cold rainy pearl,
opened my eyes in surprise to see the life take a twirl.


Witnessed the heavy downpour,
like it happened in ages, never before.


Had seen the dead grass turn lush green,
felt an unknown mystic sheen.


Saw many like me bouncing back alive,
souls and spirits jumping  in mirth and jive


Blessings that the rain showers
propels  us to move ahead with renewed powers


the rain washed our fears,
the rain dried our tears,


It turned us a new leaf,
instilled in us a new belief.


I realised after arid summers, come the fresh springs,
depleting the dearth, repletes with he mirth it brings


Oh lord of rains,
there are no more complaints
bring loads and loads of rains,
drain away all our pains,
bring in all new gains.:)

The road i taken ......The beauty i had seen...

Oh wow!!What a road. Mind-blowing!! Uff!!!

It was a hot summer afternoon …the sun hates mankind I believe. He was scorching with what vengeance I say…..as if it was his meticulous plan to just keep his heat focused on us and  parch us down.

Like a traditional conventional Indian girl I walked with my head bowed down, unable to lift my head up to see the abhorring rays striking my eyes.

With my eyes bent down and walking towards my office, I watched the beauty of the Road I had taken. I watched a long stretch of the road over crowded by people, vehicles, vendors and lot of other things which I’m going to describe now.

The long jet black tar road was parched and little here there in traces, among people and vehicles and vendors and stalls I could finally make out the road that turned grey. This little shown faded grey road was aesthetically decorated with rainbow colors of chocolate wrappers, pan parag sachets, cigarette cartons, bus tickets, water sachets, frooti tetra packs and lots. The rainbow colored slack was actually pricking me in my eyes.  Probably I was not able to take in the immense beauty on the road that the people had created.

I then faced the sun with very lil respect, my head now bowed at certain inclination. Wow! Wall paintings…amazing!

I saw how beautifully the walls along the road were decorated with graffiti designs made out of pan and pan parag spits. Further, behind the graffiti I somehow could trace a feebly written note “PLEASE DO NOT SPIT HERE”. And also very respectfully calling people who take as their birth right to spit at places where they are not supposed to, as  Donkeys through this vaguely seen note “YAHAAN THUKNA MANA HAI.THUKNE WALA GADHA HAI!”

I saw the compound wall that was raised for security, had become a graffiti board. Kudos to the fabulous resourcefulness!

Wow! I then was at the line of sight with the dump yards.  The huge blue coloured iron dust bins the outside of which , were so  artistically decorated with plastic bags, wrappers , bottles ,clothes, ,dead rats, hungry cats, broken bats, syringes, blood stained cotton, leftover food rotting and lots more that was far beyond my level of perception and comprehension and what’s worth mentioning is that the bin was empty.

Just a min later, I saw a man come running with two huge plastic bags full of scrap I guess. I thought GHMC had lifted the plastic ban, looking at the human sized plastic bags. HE came so close to the dump bin and dumped the bags just close to the mouth of the bin. Poor chap; he was in such a hurry that he had all the time to walk towards the bin but no time to dump it in the bin.

Ah what day of aesthetics! I was flabbergasted by the resourcefulness coupled with exquisiteness that had created an environmentally rotting Alluring adorableness. Thumbs up for all who have made these places dirty enough to shun resent repent and regret!