Yess...I'm a Princess!!

Herez d episode that is making me write this blog  after  5 days of the incident,still so fresh in my mind.Here it goes.

I went  for kinda village exposure.I have done lots and lots of workshops and every school that i had visited was nothing less than a success.But,the scenario here in kurnool was altogether different.Of the 5 schools i had been to,2 schools were really disappointing.There was nothing on earth that could move them by an inch.I dint realize the reason or may be i was completely flagged out so did not have the patience nor interest to know.

 Trust me,that was a real bad day...I had been shunting between my toilet and my bedroom ,puking since morning 4 :00 a.m.So i was not so fine with taking up the moderator's role.What so ever.
The ice breaking session was done by Chandu, and he was kinda perfectionist in that.He just got along the children so well....jus so well.I thought that would make my work of gliding to the other sessions lot easy.
Actually the total session would last upto max 3 hours.It was past 3 hours and we were satisfied not bit.The children there seemed so obtuse,reluctant,not so ready.....types.I was vexed.I was still busy puking besides.Chandu insisted me to wind the workshop up.So we planned to  wind up with a quick round of personalised counseling.And......And....................
During the personalized counseling,we hand the students out a sheet,an end line test to capture their info and some basic problem to study their backgrounds.There was this question "What are the problems you forsee to continue your education?"
A girl came and reported"Miru intha chinna place ichi ma kastaly rayamante,em ratamu.MA kastalu talchukunte edupu ostundi akka"
I was taken aback.In so many workshops the same question was asked,no child ever reported it this way.It was kind of shocking.She was surekha
I called the girl again.She dint turn up.How much ever i called her,she dint.Now i moved closer to her.The closer i was moving,the emo she became.When i just held her hand,she cried and cried and cried no end.I waited till her eyes drained off the tears.Then i asked her,what it was like.She blurted out her problems.

They had a kacha house.The father was an absolutly raw piece of shit who used to come home drunk and beat the mother upThe gals always wanted to study but the father used to sell or burn their books.One day,it had rained heavily.The mother was lying on the cot.And the wall fell over her.All the villagers had decided that she was dead,and just then a hand rose from the rubble.And that was her mother.She survived but remained as a piece of mass.And the father,used to beat the mother up crazily and madly and sickeningly.When the mother took to cots,the father got a smoother hand on the girls and planned to sell them off.Then had fixed the rates as well.What a father is he....Damn such fathers.
With intense search in her eyes,without winking her eyes,she asked "DO you have a mom"?I said ,I do.
She then asked me "How does your dad look after you?"
I said very well.
She called me "lucky girl"
She said,her mother wanted her study and grow as a successful teacher.She  asked me if she could ever.I did assure her that she would.She told me that she wanted to become a teacher to teach children like her,the lesson of a life time.I assured her she would.I pray she becomes I made a commitment that if the financial constraints wouldn't support her,i would.For the first time,my gut feeling said,my life would turn satisfied by supporting her life.Its not a baseless commitment i made,a commitment made in full conscience,with my sense of judgement and rationality.


There was another girl who asked me"You are the only girl among so many guys.You have traveled so far where your cry will not be heard at all.Are you not afraid?"
This really embarrassed me.I never faced such question nor did i ever think.I was left blank.No answer.But i was wondering as to why she asked me a question like that.
And a minute later i got my answer.She had hit the rock bottom of her life.She had seen her biological sister being raped by her father.She explains that her sister was left bleeding  on the bed and the father just kicked her off and moved on to another bottle of toddy.
What the f*** was that?
Shame on those fathers.


These girls never want to return to their houses because,they find these schools a heaven,a safer place to live in.
Each one had their own problems.
At the age of 12 they were being so vocal about their problems.Hats of to their courage who have lived through these problems and lived their lives.

Most of the children there,had problems with their fathers.Their fathers drink,beat mothers,kill mothers or the mothers commit suicide not being able to bear the fathers torture,children running away and what not...

I dint realize...the tears started rollin down my cheeks.I dint want to cry.But poor girls,left me no option.
In that tender age,they had seen what they shouldn't have.They had hit their rock bottoms of their lives.All the children there reported their problems not with the thought that i would solve them,but they would lighten their hearts by sharing their boiling emotions that had then found a vent to expression.I slipped into depression,no fear of that,i had my parents to back me up.I wanted do become a support for them.But how long and how many?I wonder if the father will ever stop drinking...i wonder,when a man wants to marry just because he can come and beat his wife up,he very well can marry a rock that would silently bear and one fine day break into pieces.I wonder if the men there just wanted to enjoy their daughters they could as well go to the brothel house and enjoy.I wonder if the fathers did not want to have a child,why the hell did he not use any precautions.
A child is not born because he can be thrown away into a dump.A girl is not born with a sales tag,she is  not born to be sold.
I dunno how do i sound in this blog or what do i convey in this blog.But all i know is that i just wanted to vent my frustration.I just wanted to understand that values don't exist any more.I'm not even sure if these values would ever make any sense to such thick skinned beasts.
Christ!
If you exist,show them a way to live their life happy.Give them a life that is secure and safe.

I was born in good family with all d pretty luxuries in life.I had very sound childhood,educated parents,very nice education and lots of fun and loads of love and tons of affection.
I always called myself a princess!

I have had a sound childhood and everything was in its best for me......Yes I'm a princess and yet  i feel low today.

Joy of Giving Week

Joy of Giving Week centered around Oct 2nd just squared me!!

thought that ,this week shall be a  reviving event for YV that is now dormant.

Had invited the SPOCS of  the so called active colleges,and as expected,all our efforts negated.Same people over and over again.

Whatso ever,It was the 3rd of OCt and in the JGW calender,we were to conduct an event called BREAM BIG in a n orphanage.There were 16 YV vols that day,and trust 16 then sounded a real big number.We supposedly had a strong base of 400 volunteers and of those 16 volunteers seemed really a mamoth number!

The day was pretty well done with,met some new and weird people,had seen how kids were orphaned and lots of other stuff,besides.

It was 4th of  Oct.We were much late to begin the preparations for KArmaYoga Seva Mela.I personally felt,this Mela would be the right platform that has spurred up at the right moment-Thought this would help our YV vols to be back in action and with our project of EHL going statewide,this would be a great place for publicity and to an extent for fundraising.

Myself and Avinash took this Mela,to our hearts and charted out plans and events for the 2 day Mela.For once,we felt the cruch of manpower and the time was jus tickin away.No biggie to guide us,no Buddie to help us.All we had were-Geetha,Avinsh,Aishu,Sai,Kaivalaya and Rohit.
That evening,we got our action points ready-brochures for EHL,Brochures for YV,pamphlets,banners,acknowledgement for sponsorships,videos,presentations,posters,pull up stands.. to showcase our concept and eatery stuff,what to place,what not to place,how to place and lots of other stuff.
4th night was a busy night,a tiring one too...
Had to prepare the brochures apart from the training module that was assigned to me.
Done with my bit of work for the brochures and training,waiting for perusal by the biggies!
Time just swayed to 5th morning and that was the only working day before the Mela.
Damn that!
Avinash was out of his home since 5 in the morning,attended the gate classes and there he was with me at EHL for the preparations for the mela.Poor chap!nfact to get candid to put things straight,whatever work was being assigned,bw it to anybody was finally being executed by Geetha and  Avinash.:((

I was still waiting for the approval for the brochures,the only mode of our publicity for the Mela.and after a day's long wait...it came at 9:00 pm when all the printers and DTP guyz were off to celebrate Dushera.
A busily sick and a tiring day.i hated it for any reason.Nothing on eart had materialised.Damn Damn Damn!!!
And the next day was Dushera.
Everyone on earth (may be) celebrating the festival,with i and avinash connected on fone,through mails through out the day.And here i was cursing myself for having taken up this venture.I was so discouraged by a statement"We are investing so much,will we get enough out of it"This grounded me completely.All the little hope to do it,also got crumpled.
I was apprehensive,nervous,skeptical,afraid,jittery and lots more.
//..What if this wouldnt be a successful venture,i would be screwed,people will criticize and blame  me no end.....//
was what was running in my mind more than a 100 times a second.
I cried! I prayed,Christ!Let me succeed!
All of sudden,this Mela became more important to me than my only sister's only marriage!
Everything else seemed so small then.Deep inside,i was praying,Mela to succeed,whatever has been invested,should be at least recovered,if not running in profits.With fingers crossed,slided into sleep to wake up to the D-Day!
That was 7th Morning.All soft copies for the printing ready.The inauguration was to begin at 11:00 a.m. and we fools thought that we would be able to make up for the event before the inauguration.I had called up the designer to come at 8:00 in the morn and like a sincere student he did.But,fate plays it all,the power went off!Shucks!!
Why should i always be the target of those weird moments!Sob!Sobb!sobb!!!
By the time,we were ready with all are stationery to decorate our stall,it was one n half hr past the inauguration and we missed out the best of the best moments.
The moment we stepped into the club,i was greeted by my DAD.I cut a bloody sorry figure in front him.Guilt was just biting me off.I hate that moment.FISH!
Beyond these dirt moments rested some busy moments in the stall.Although we missed out on the Chief guest visiting our stall,we did have a good number of people visiting our stall.And the whole of the rest of the day,i had been talking talking and talking...so that says it all,that we did have good number of people visiting our stall.

But then again,it was again just 6 of us there!I wished if few more friends were there with me.
Day 1 of the Mela closed.It was close to my satisfaction levels.SO no regrets as of the first day.

It was 8th Oct,the second and the last day of the mela.
It was the day,not of the NGOs,but of the directors and CEOs of the NGOs.And there stood my stall third from the dias,with jus vols.
Chandu,my CEO,had promised me that he would make it up to the stall.Infact Charan also had promised to come.I was more than happy to hear that.Time just went by and none of them turned up.I then became pretty sure,they wouldnt!
I had seen all the stalls graced by their CEOs and directors.And my stall was looking orphaned.:(((
I hate the Nirmaan stall for the very reason that it was being manned by the CEO himself....:X
It was really depressing,no frenz of YV,no Charan,no vikram,no mayur,no goverdhan,no nagesh,none!
I was feeling everything that i shouldnt.
And there was a surprize...!!Ishaan and sowmi had come!
WOW!!!
Luved it!!:)))


And thankfully,to drive me out of this sickening thought came some gentleman,who found some interest in YV  and wanted to know.When i was deep lost,explaining him wt we are,i suddenly saw Chandu coming to the stall!
OMG!!
I just Exclaimed.....Chandu!!!
Unbelievable,Chandu had come,my CEO had come.I stopped briefing up about my org,went jaunty and hugged Chandu!:)))
I dinno wt i was doing.I donno wt Chandu z gonna think about me.....but all i knew was,i wanted my CEO to be there with me,grace our stall ...and there he was.
Chandu...You came and my excitement and energy was boosted my manifolds.Thanx  Chandu.But then,i missed Charan!

Ha....a great,busy day.For 2 complete days i did wt i love the most.I talked,Talked and Talked!:P
All in all....the Mela was successful to me personally!

Special thanx to Avinash,Aishu,Kaivalya,Rohit,Sai, and Shwetha..to have made this event successful!Thanx guyz.More than the Mela,it was the time we shared after the the mela that can never be forgotten.
Thanx JGW to have given the opportunity to have had so many experinces.Thanx so much!

Joy of Giving Week had given me the real JOY!!!